bump, set, spike!

Aaaaaah!!!  What a weekend we have had!  Today, I have lots of great news to share with you.

On Friday afternoon at 1:00pm, we left the ICU and headed back up to our old room!  The CAT scan in the morning showed no issues at all.  It was a wonderful journey back up to Floor 7 and the nurses and cleaning staff were ecstatic to see Josh return!

In the elevator... headed up!

Back to our room!!!  : )

On Friday, Josh's blood counts started to increase.  Saturday, they increased even more!  We were excited to share the news and luckily for us, we had many visitors that day.

Josh's Grandma Mabie and Aunt Linda came first, carrying three of the LARGEST balloons I have ever seen!  They were all decked in Superman, which I thought was quite fitting for the day.  One of my co-workers and her family stopped to visit, followed by two of my sorority sisters, Joshua's best friend and his family, and finally my Mother in Law & Step dad.  They took me out to dinner around 8:30pm and Josh fell asleep the second we left the room!  Wow... that was a long day of chatting!

Jack, Wendy (co-worker), and Ryan

Jimmy (Best Bud), Lisa, and Willow hanging out

Today, Josh's blood counts dropped a little.  The doctors said that a drop is okay and quite common, but they should continue to see an upward trend.  Josh had dialysis on Saturday for three and a half hours, which we were hoping would be the last time.  However, after looking at the numbers today, he will need dialysis again tomorrow morning.  His kidney function is still improving, but not yet 100%.

This afternoon, Josh got up and walked over to the recliner where he spent a couple hours.  He ate more today than he has for the last few days and he managed to keep everything down except breakfast.  Hopefully tomorrow will bring even better eating and maybe even a little exercise to start strengthening his legs.

Best news ever:  The doctors say that if all continues to go well, we might be able to leave the hospital in a week!  Praise, praise, praise the Lord!!!  That is way quicker than we ever expected.

We can not WAIT to get out of here.  I am ready to return to the real world and we are MOST excited to see our dog Boss.  We haven't seen him in over 3 weeks other than pictures sent from my family.  We miss him like crazy!

Over the next week, we will be praying that Josh's blood counts continue to increase to a normal level.  We are praying that Josh does not acquire GVHD, a disease where the new cells start attacking the organs of the body.  And we continue to pray that his kidneys fully recover.

We spent eight days in the ICU last week.  Today, we hear that we might be able to leave in a week.  Can you believe it?!?  Your prayers are working.  Our prayers are working.  God's hands are continuing to heal my husband and it is AMAZING!  He knows Josh's body better than any doctor because He created him.  He knows what Josh needed to get to this point and He knows what Josh needs to get to full recovery.  Please continue to pray with us!

Stand and see great things which the Lord will do before your eyes!  1 Samuel 12:16

blessings from the Lord.

By far, this has been one of the best days we have had here.  I am SO grateful for all of the blessings that God has given us and all of the prayers that have been answered!

Today we learned many wonderful things from Joshua's team of doctors!

- Fever has been normal since 6:00pm on Wednesday
- After re-doing a biopsy of his skin, the rash is not due to graft vs. host disease (a complication of transplant), it was just a result of inflammation and should go away within a few days
- Mouth sores are less prominent
- Josh's kidneys showed signs of recovery, so he was switched to intermittent dialysis instead of continuous
- Oxygen is no longer needed as Josh is able to maintain a good saturation level without assistance
- White blood count has started to increase showing signs of engraftment (the new cells are settling in)

- IV nutrition/food is no longer needed as Josh is eating well

- Another ultrasound of his liver was completed and it was re-confirmed that he does not have VOD

I was filled with joy!  Bursting with Joy!  We made it through the past week of darkness and are beginning to see the light!

Josh getting his ultrasound.

Luckily for us, we got to share the news with several visitors today!  Josh's Dad and step Mom came to visit in the morning, then my Mom showed up this afternoon with a surprise visitor!

Grandma Tadlock came up from Illinois!

Lucky for me, Grandma and Mom decided to treat me to dinner so that I could get out of the hospital and into the sunshine.  We went to an Irish Pub in downtown Ann Arbor and sat outside on the patio.  It was amazing!  I do not think I have eaten that much in one day since I've been here!

When we got back to the hospital, Joshua's Mom had arrived and we walked in the room to another fantastic surprise!!!

Josh was out of bed and in a chair!!!

For the first time in over a week Josh was up, out of bed, and on the computer!  God is good!!!  Furthermore, Josh has been disconnected from several of his annoying lines and wires because they no longer need to monitor him so closely.  He will surely sleep better tonight than he has since he's been in ICU.  There will be much less beeping from all of the machines and wires and the nurse will only come in 4:00am to take vitals!

In the morning, Josh will have a CAT scan at 9:00am to confirm there are no further issues.  He will have a couple hours of dialysis.  Then... we should be headed back up to the 7th floor again!  Good bye ICU!!!

Thank you family and friends for all of your prayers. 

the climb.

I'm up in our "old" room right now.  I am going to sleep here for the first time in awhile.  Joshua's mom is staying with him in ICU tonight, two floors down.  Hopefully I will have a peaceful night of rest.  I will sleep in silence without waking up to beeps, and alerts, and nurses coming in every single hour.  Luckily for Josh, he gets a pretty strong nighttime cocktail before bed - an array of powerful pills to knock him out.

I've spent the past hour listening to voicemails and reading emails.  An hour!  I had no idea how far behind I was!  Hopefully I will be able to catch up soon.  To be honest, I had know idea what day it was today until I asked our nurse!

We have already began to fill our new room with cards, drawings, and inspirational pictures sent by you. Over this past week while I was really struggling, you not only took care of Josh, you took care of me. I think we are brought to tears more by your thoughtfulness than anything else we have experienced here.  Thank you just isn't enough.

Josh's health has gradually improved, but he is not yet well enough to leave ICU.  Although it would be WONDERFUL to have him back up here in a relaxing and peaceful setting... we want to be sure that he is completely stable before we leave the 24/7 monitoring he gets now.  All of your prayers are working!  Keep up the great work!

Doctor's Updates
(This may be ridiculously boring... sorry, it's very late right now!)
Eyes - No issues!  It will just take time for the redness and floating blood to be repaired and absorbed by the body.  Until then, Josh is unable to read due to a black spot in the center of his right eye.  I read him the cards he receives.  He can not use Facebook.  Calling is better than texting, but he is often asleep.
Skin - Biopsy was unclear.  The rash is most likely a drug reaction of some sort.  It has gotten worse since in ICU - dark red splotches everywhere.  All antibiotics have been switched and we hoping to start seeing improvement.  They also started steroids today to help.
Lungs - Josh is able to take his oxygen off for a good part of the day with no problems, but usually needs it while he sleeps.  Lung function is continually improving.  This is no longer an area of concern!
Liver - So far all tests for VOD have been negative and function increased this morning.  Docs will continue to monitor very closely over the next few days.  So far, so good.
Kidneys - Josh was taken off of dialysis today with no success, he was hooked back up tonight so that they can continue to remove waste and toxins from his body.  Docs are hoping to try to switch to dialysis three times per week instead of continuous sometime soon, but there are no guaranties on how fast his kidneys will recover.  He lost almost 30 lbs of excess fluid since we arrived in ICU.  He is no longer a puff-a-lump!
Mind - Fantastic!  No more hallucinations or confusion since Saturday morning.  Thank God!!!  That was by far the scariest part of this journey for me since we arrived. 
Fever - Much better since last night. He maintained a lower fever today, but it is still not normal.
Mouth - Still full of sores that extend down into his throat.  He has "magic mouthwash" for numbing the pain.  Not sure when these will go away - they were a side effect of his aggressive chemo treatment.
Diet - Josh has been given the okay to eat and drink again!  Today he ate fairly decent after not eating food for days.  He is ecstatic to be given back another freedom.
Hair - Mostly gone.  Josh requested that the nurse shave the rest of his head this afternoon so he wouldn't have patches all over.  I videotaped the historic moment.  He still has eyebrows, but not much else.
Muscles - Very weak.  Josh stood up two times today, which was awesome.  He needs lots of assistance, but today was the first time he has been out of bed since last Thursday night.  The first time he stood, he had to sit right back down.  He became very light headed and his heart rate soared.  The second time went much better.  He was really proud!  Physical therapy will start tomorrow to begin strengthening exercises.

EVERYONE that came into our room today said that Josh looked wonderful!  Unanimous decision: We are headed in the right direction!  In addition, Josh's blood counts should start to improve this week as the new cells engraft and start doing there job.  We couldn't be more excited!

I can not wait until Josh is able to walk out of this hospital on his own two feet, knowing that he has his whole life ahead of him.  Can you imagine what that will feel like?!?

I have faith that we will get there to find out.

He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.  Philippians 1:6

days go by.

The days all run together now.  I sleep when I can, usually for 5 hours at a time - sometimes in the afternoon, sometimes at night.  Luckily, I have had a lot of help since Josh has been in ICU.  My mother in law and step father, father in law and step mother, Josh's grandma, and my mother and sister have all been here in the last few days.

Josh has several complications at this time. 

His kidneys are no longer functioning on their own, so Josh is on continuous dialysis to flush all of the fluid and medication from his body.  He has been on oxygen since Thursday night.  They have been able to reduce the amount of oxygen, but he still needs the help.  He no longer needs the blood pressure medication as he is able to maintain a high enough level on his own, but he still has a consistent fever.

His skin has a rash that has worsened since we've been here.  He has sores throughout his mouth, which are painful and annoying.  His eyes are beyond blood shot due to the pressure that built up from excess fluids.  He is still a little swollen or puffy, but less than he was in the past few days.

He is on IV nutrition (food) as he has been unable to eat.  They will not allow him food at this time because they are worried about his lung function.  He is breathing heavy and fast.  They do not want him to inhale the food or have food in his stomach in case they need to put a breathing tube down his throat.

Josh is not able to get out of bed and has become very weak.  His arms shake when he reaches for a cup of water or tries to push himself up.  He has to be bathed in bed, go to the bathroom in bed, and be rolled from side to side to have his bedding changed.  I have done more than I ever expected I would need to do for him as an adult .

Josh's mental status has normalized. He has been coherent since yesterday morning, which is very comforting for everyone.  They think the hallucinations and confusion were due to a build up of medication in his system while his kidneys were slowing down.

Today, I have met with the doctors from transplant, dermatology, infectious disease, and ICU.  Tomorrow, we will see the ophthalmologist.  Josh is constantly being examined, poked, and prodded.  It is hard for him to get rest and he seems to have increased anxiety here.  They just gave him a combination of drugs to ease his pain and allow him to sleep.  I wish they would just stay out of here and leave him alone for awhile... but that is not reality.

Josh is frustrated.  He is anxious to get out of bed and out of ICU.  My heart breaks for him, but there is nothing we can do right now.  Despite his frustration, he is still positive and continues to treat all of the staff with kindness and a big smile. He has already had visits from the nurses on our old floor and his doctors from the drug trial area. They just wanted to stop by to see Josh and encourage him to keep on pushing.  He has really had an impact on many people here.

This is a hard time.  Harder than I ever imagined.  But we will continue to move forward a day at a time.  I remember what Josh told me before we got down here.  He said, "God only gives this type of situation to the strongest people, the people that can handle it."  Watching Josh endure what he does day in and day out, I truly believe that. 

another turn.

Just got done helping Joshua take a shower.  His hair is all starting to fall out now.  He wanted to feel fresh and clean before he heads to his next challenge.

The doctors decided it would be best to move Josh to ICU so that he can be more closely monitored.  His oxygen level was low and his blood pressure is low.  There is some fluid in his lungs.  He is now on oxygen and the ICU will be able to administer blood pressure meds that are not available on this floor. 

They will hold this room for a few days in hopes that we return.  It will also provide a place for me to sleep as I will not be allowed in the ICU room overnight.  That will be a big struggle for me.

Oh Lord has this been a day.  When I look at Josh, I know that everything will be alright.  Just look at this face...

Fresh and clean, ready to roll!

prepare for glory.

This week has not been easy.  Josh has had a temperature of 103.1 degrees for most of the week.  One of his nurses said that she could fry an egg on his head.  I believe her.  Every time I touch his head or his feet, I feel so awful.  He is just radiating heat... like a furnace.

He is currently on several antibiotics and an anti fungal medicine in case there is some sort of bacteria that they hasn't shown up yet.  So far, all tests have been negative.  He takes Tylenol every four hours.  He even decided to get rid of the mohawk so that his head could breath.  Yesterday evening we put ice packs all around his body just to try to cool him off.  Still no change.

Hospital haircut by Mom!

Then right back to sleep...

We had several visitors and lots of encouragement this week.  My three best friends each made a trip out to the hospital. One came each day.  Joshua's aunt Jenny and cousin Nick came to visit yesterday.  Joshua's father and step mother came out this morning.  Both my Grandma and Oma (great grandma) from Illinois called Josh and I to check in and visit.  My mother-in-law continues to visit each day!

Having fun with decorations on Tuesday!  Josh directed

Kelly and I while as we boosted each other up to the ceiling!

Talking to Grandma Tadlock.

Visit from my Father in Law and Step Mom this morning!

This morning Joshua's temperature was at 105.0.  His face, lips, and eyes are swollen.  He has been talking in his dreams and is a little dilutional... mostly attributed to the high fever.  For a short while he came down to 100.0 degrees, but is now up to 103.0 again.  His body seems to like it there.  The doctors said he should only have a 3-4 more bad days... I sure hope so.  I had to sit down twice today when the doctors and nurses were in the room.  I felt like I was going to faint waiting to hear what they had to say.  When it is just Josh and I, I feel much better.
 
Earlier he told me he was traveling in his dreams.  He went to his friend Jimmie's house.  He said it was fun, then asked me if I wanted to go with.  I said, "absolutely."  Then he said, he'd have to practice.  He wasn't sure if he could do two people yet.  I said, "Josh, wherever you go, I will always be with you."
 
I have been so strong this whole time, but today I broke down.  It is getting really hard to watch my husband deteriorate each day.  I leave the hospital room to call my parents and cry.  I have to be strong and happy in here, for his sake.
 
So far, Josh has eaten a Boost pudding cup. For the first time, I fed him. That way he could keep his arms under the sheets. He was shaking. The nurse said that I will have to help him walk and stand from now on due to his low blood pressure and dizziness.
 
Luckily despite Josh feeling like garbage, he has been able to comfort me.  He has been joking around with the nurses, the doctors, and I... sometimes with his eyes closed because they are heavy.  He asked me to come cuddle with him, even though he was burning hot.  And when the physical therapist came and woke him up to have him ride on a stationary bike, Josh told him "No problem!"  I had to smile. 
 
"Prepare for glory!" was a phrase used in the movie 300 by the Spartan King and leader of their army. He screamed the phrase as the Spartan army of three hundred men set out to conquer armies of millions. The Spartans were brave, fearless, and outstanding warriors.  That is my husband.  This week Josh has has been a mighty Spartan.  I am so proud.

roller coaster.

Yesterday was by far the worst day we have had so far. 

Josh's temperature dropped first thing in the morning.  Then, it bolted up to 102.9, then down to 102.7, then up to 103.1.  Needless to say, I was a little on edge all day long.  Josh barely ate, he did not do get out of bed other than to use the restroom, and he didn't have energy to take a shower.  He slept all day.  He woke up for about 10 minutes at a time, but even then, I could tell that he was struggling to keep his eyes open.  I have never seen my high energy, "balls to the wall" husband in this state. 

One of our nurses sat down with me in the evening... I think she could see that I starting to spin out of control.  I asked her, "Is this normal?" referring to the 103.1 temperature.  She told me that she had seen higher on occasion, but we needed to get it down as soon as possible.

I put cold washcloths on Josh's forehead and feet, then brushed water through his hair.  He was on fire and I was feeling helpless.  Josh woke up for a second and I asked if I could read him today's devotional out of his new book.  He agreed.  I flipped to June 14th and the title was, "The Cure for Disappointment."  I thought... Perfect!!! 

We need to hear that God is still in control.  We need to hear that it's not over until he says so.  We need to hear that life's mishaps and tragedies are not a reason to bail out.  They are simply a reason to sit tight... When the train goes through a tunnel and the world gets dark, do you jump out?  Of course not.  You sit still and trust the engineer to get you through... Go back and read the story of God.  Read it again and again.  Be reminded that you aren't the first person to weep.  And you aren't the first person to be helped.  -Grace for the Moment, Max Lucado

Okay, I thought, I will sit tight and wait.  FYI... that is not an easy task.  Josh's doctors upped his dose of Tylenol and I waited some more.  I tried to sleep, but that did not work well either.  I kept walking over and to feel Josh's forehead or just to sit on the edge of his bed.  By 3:00am, his temp was down to 100.3 and I finally got some rest.  This morning, it was at 99.0 - Praise the Lord!

Luckily, my day was broken up yesterday by a visit from a couple close friends as well as my mother-in-law.  Josh got a new game, some new clothes, and homemade chicken noodle soup!  We also received the quilt we were promised by the sweet old lady that I met in the waiting room.  It almost took my breath away.

This will definitely brighten up our room!

The detail - so awesome!

Other than Josh's fever dropping to nearly normal, this morning has had a wonderful start.  Josh was up and perky for a couple hours (he is napping now).  He ate a good breakfast.  And he got a delivery of five cards!  I don't know why, but he is like a kid at Christmas when they show up!  The cards came from all over... and they were all very special.  We ran out of poster space and have moved onto our door.

Thank you!!!  

Once again, we are overwhelmed by your generosity and care.  The phone calls, the texts, the cards, the visits, the gifts, the food...  Wow!!  God is certainly giving us our daily bread - that is, what we need to get through each day.  This is going to be a great one!

hello moon.

It is the middle of the night now.  I'm WIDE awake.

I was woke up about an hour ago by a couple of nurses in our room.  They were followed by a radiology tech pushing her machine through our door.  After I sat up and put my glasses on, I whispered "Josh, what is happening???"  Josh had a minor fever - 100.3 degrees.

A fever is very common after a transplant.  It is typically a sign that the new cells are doing their job and fighting off Josh's old cells that still remain.  Luckily, we had been told this information multiple times in the past couple days.

Protocol is to immediately start antibiotics, send multiple blood samples to the lab for testing, and take a chest x-ray.  Done, done, and done.  (I think that I am forgetting something, but I was somewhat in shock watching our nurse shove multiple tubes of blood into bags!)  All of the above is done to confirm that Josh has no "bugs" in his system, and to confirm it is just normal signs of the new cells working.  The antibiotics are started immediately just in case.

The nurse advised that looking at his records, he had a gradual upward trend in his temp all day, being yesterday now.  We caught the fever at the perfect time.

Josh is currently sleeping.  Now I will try to do the same.